Contemplative Bible Reading

Ezra 9:3-4 (New Living Translation)

3 When I heard this, I tore my cloak and my shirt, pulled hair from my head and beard, and sat down utterly shocked. 4 Then all who trembled at the words of the God of Israel came and sat with me because of this outrage committed by the returned exiles. And I sat there utterly appalled until the time of the evening sacrifice.

This describes a football fan after a referee makes a call that costs a game in the last minute. Pull your hair. Pull your beard. Sit in shock. Be utterly appalled all night.

This, however, is not football. This is disobeying God. The “sin” word comes to mind. Ezra has returned to Jerusalem for the great rebuilding project. He learns that the men from the people chosen by God have been marrying women from other peoples. Of all things, wandering down the street, ignoring woman from your own people, and … the rest is history.

Still, when was the last time I was shocked by sin and sat appalled for days, hours, or even five minutes? Why not? Am I just too accustomed to sin that it doesn’t shock me? Am I so expectant of God’s grace that I know it will be okay? Am I just too tired to “get worked up” over things? Is football and other things that are right in front of me too big in my life?

Lots of questions. Perhaps the answer is that I need God’s help. Same answer as yesterday; same answer tomorrow. God, thank you for everything. Please God, help me in my unbelief.